So Long Grandpa
Death and the usage of patriarchy by religion.
Death is an inevitable event. Everything that has life will die one day. When I write this, I might not be alive to see this getting published tomorrow. Death is sorrow and tragedy for many and salvation for a few. Established organized religions of the world have exploited human being’s fears of the future and death for their own gains.
Two deaths
Years back, when I was an 8-year-old, a cat who used to visit my ancestral house died. I had known him before his death, and seeing his dead body giving out a foul odor made me disturbed and sad. However, the patriarchs met this empathy and compassion with derision, who considered it a weakness. Years down the line, my maternal grandfather died when I was 17. When I heard the news, I was emotionless. However, behind closed doors, when I was sure that nobody was watching me, I cried. After 3 minutes of ‘weakness,’ I went for his burial. Before his burial, when my grandmother saw me, she cried, holding my hand, but I was emotionless. My mother cried, but I was emotionless.
I even laughed when my paternal cousin joked with me at the burial site. Does that make me callous and selfish? Thinking that this was not suited to the occasion, I asked my cousin to shut up. People at his funeral took his body to the burial site, and I saw his body buried in mud.
I remembered the cat that died years back. The person who derided me is in that cat’s situation now- dead. Whether an animal or a human, the dead body will rot and smell foul if not buried or burned. The relevance of a human to her family and society and the relevance of an animal to the particular niche in the ecosystem ends with death. In death, all beings merge and render the same service of becoming part of the cycle of nutrients and energy in nature.
Nature and religions
My grandfather’s death might have created a vacuum for the living; what difference does it make for nature? Nothing. If one dies, another will be born at the same moment in some other place. A cat’s death might create a vacuum in its niche in the ecosystem, which will get filled by another cat. Taken together, any event of death is the same, and no matter how great the dead person is, that becomes irrelevant by her death. All that matters is her being. How she has lived defines her being. Whether she was kind or cruel, whether the world will remember her with love or contempt, or whether her life was relevant to be remembered or better forgotten if one has to be remembered with love, then that person should love her fellow beings; if this empathy and compassion are discouraged, what kind of individuals and society do we become?
Muslims should love fellow Muslims, but all others are Kafirs (non-believers) who burn in hell. Christians should love fellow Christians, but all non-believers will bear the wrath of God. Hindus should love fellow Hindus, but everybody else lives with bad karma and are cursed. Show me one organized religion that loves each other as humans, as living creatures, as part of nature, and not as a Muslim, Hindu, or Christian.
Religions have gaslighted humans into hating each other by bogus unity and fraternity. Imagine a world where only Muslims live worshipping their god as slaves. Would all be well? or would there arise other points of discrimination, marginalization, oppression, and slavery? The answer to this question is obvious; if there is no human compassion and empathy, the world will implode. After nearly three decades of life, I have realized that the religion that I am born should be burned than burning humans in the fire to make the world a better place.
I am not angry with my grandfather anymore for infusing toxic masculinity into me, for his religion has gaslighted him also. He himself believed that he was a slave of his God. The Islamic patriarch believed he was a liberal when he was drunk by conservatism because his religion leaves no space for independent thought and intellectual discussions.
Peace and lament
Years after his death, I struggled between hating and loving my grandfather, who loved me but wanted me to be like him when I grow up. I rebelled, and the result was constant conflict between him and me until he died. He always loved me.
Finally, I am at peace of finding the real culprit trying to destroy empathy and compassion in the world. Both the cat and my Granpa are now part of the nutrient and energy cycle of nature. Tomorrow I too will be part of it. My Grandpa's death made me realize the eventuality of death and the beauty of nature.
‘Grandpa, Only if you have known….’
